Thursday, September 3, 2009

If The Shoe Fits..

Dear Jimmy, Manolo, Cole, Tory, Jeffrey, Steve and others,

I write to you not out of obligation but of necessity. Labor Day is over, fall is officially approaching and, while I am not at all prepared to put away my SPF 4 or my tank tops, the crisp wind in the air does signify the start of something wonderful: boot season. Forget what the song says, boot season is by far the most wonderful time of the year. Tights, skirts, scarves, trench coats - they all serve to flatter the boot and that first time you get to strut down Newbury St wearing your slammin calfskin Tory Burch booties, you feel like a kid again. I mean, look at this gorgeous art that Cole Haan has presented us with - grey suede with a bold silver buckle. It's heaven...as long as you're 5'8" and under.

These grey boots have a 3 1/4" heel. Math isn't my strong suit but just humor me for a minute. As I stand at 6'1" (eh, 6'1" and 1/2" but who is counting?), if I were to don this pair of shoes, I would measure in/up at 6'4" and 3/4". Do you know how tall 6'4" is?? I love my height, always have (well except for those high school years but, come on, I had to stand at the back of every class photo and after a while the ego takes a brusin!), but I love shoes more. Exhibit A: my shoe wall. I'm fortunate enough to be the benefactor of a ridiculously large walk-in closet and I arranged it so that an entire wall is dedicated to shoes. Hey, if you can do it, you do it. Check it out. Pretty sweet huh?


While this picture proves that I certainly havent had any trouble finding shoes to purchase, I do so long for the day when kitten heels are just as popular as stilettos. Yes I will concede that the return of the ballet flat has done wonders for this section of my closet, but when it comes to boots - heel height still reigns surpeme. Last year, I spent about six months looking for a respectable pair of black work boots but the choices were always flat heeled riding boots (not a look I can pull off) or towering high heeled classic leather stylish boots. Why no middle ground? Do you think that there isnt a market for clean, classic boots with a small heel? Put down that market research report because I can tell you one thing for sure: the market is there. I'll sustain it myself if I have to! But it's there.

A quick search of Nordstrom.com's shoe section (which I will applaud as having a large range of size 11 shoes, a familiar stomping ground for us tall girls), with the request being for boots with a 1-2" heel results in shoes that can mostly be lumped into two groups: cowboy boots. and gollashes. You're better than that. I have faith that you will see the light and provide me with darling boots with respectable non-stileeto heels. I know you can do it. I believe in you. I have to. It's either that or I resort to wearing these floral-embossed cowboy boots and, with all due respect, that ain't gonna happen.

Sincerely yours,

Laura


Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Spin It To Win It

I recently started taking spinning classes at the Beacon Hill Athletic Club, mostly to avoid my other gym which can get a little hot in the summertime. That's primarily because my "other gym" is my living room. For nine months a year it is a great location to rock out to Wii Fit and Wii Fitness Coach but, while I enjoy picturing certain folks' faces on the boxing bag while I punch, jab and weave into thin air (use your imagination), come June-July-August its time for a change of scenery.

Fortunately, Groupon came into my life and, if you don't know Groupon, stop what you are doing (yes, I am aware that what you are doing is reading my blog) and go sign up now. I will wait. OK, welcome back. So Groupon had a summer deal (20 visits for $30! arent you glad you signed up?) to the gym and I figured it was worth it to try something new. A random Monday I decided to take a spinning class and, I have to say, I was hooked after the first go. Its dark, its loud, you can be competitive while biking and yet you control your pace and your resistance so a lot of times it is just about beating yourself. It is an intense, calorie-burning, quick, high energy 60 minutes and the time just flies by. Seven classes later, I consider myself a regular (not a novice but by no means a veteran) and I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

But here's the thing: I am 100% too tall for the spinning bikes. Either that or the spinning bikes are 100% too short for me. Regardless of how you spin it (I HAD TO DO IT), its lose-lose. The first class I just thought, ouch, this is kinda tough to lean over this far on the handlebars. The second class a different instructor was kind enough to increase the handlebar height for me and it was better but by the third class, a final instructor said, this really ought to be higher. So, all confident and brazen on my third day, I pulled the handlebars up to get it to the height she felt would be most fitting for me. Too bad I had already pulled the handlebars off the bike itself. Uhhh....ooops. A quick adjustment later I was back on my way but it was now with the realization that it *could* be a better experience if I just weren't so damm tall. If my legs didn't almost touch the ground when I sat on the bike. If my arms didn't dangle over the front of the handlebars. If I could somehow raise the seat even higher so that I would be practically flying. If only....

I have decided to see my bike's limitations as an additional workout challenge (as it does force me to utilize more back muscles and, lets face it, that's where the muffin top lurks) but I do wonder if my fellow spin masters look over at me during class and think "why are her handlebars 7 ft higher than her bike?" But then I lean over, cycle past them on our imaginary bike path and think, "ha! my love handles will be gone before yours!" Well, that and, "Suck it." At least they aren't makin me ride this:

(Gotta love Google image search - this is apparently what happens when you Google "tall person bike")

Sunday, August 23, 2009

The (Tall) French Chef

I went to see Julie and Julia today, a new film about two women with a passion for cooking and I loved it. Not just pleasantly enjoyed it or chuckled through it but rather I want to write sonnets in its honor, bestow raves upon it, give it two thumps up, etc. But this should come as no big surprise to anyone who knows me...

Julie Powell, an office worker drowning in her cubicle, decides to embark on a tremendous task: in one year, she'll cook her way though Julia Child's epic 524-recipe magnum opus "How to Master the Art of French Cooking" and blog about the experience. I read the book when it was released and thought it was a great story of "average girl seeks life changing experience"...and actually gets it! The movie, though, goes a step further to include the bio of Julia Child herself. And since I've never read Julia's biography, it opened my eyes to someone I should've been admiring for a long time. Why? She's tall. And loves to eat. REMIND YOU OF ANYONE? (cough cough...me)

While Julie's story is heartwarming and reminds you that sometimes good things do happen to those who earn them (she wants to be a writer, she starts a blog, she gets published...you get the idea), it was really Julia's section of the movie that so moved me. For the unfamiliar, Julia Child stood 6'2" tall - and the director, Nora Ephron, goes to great heights (ha!) to showcase this in the film. She married a man considerably shorter than she was, she lived in France where she towered over every local she encountered, she wore heels (!). And yet, instead of people being overwhelmed by her, her height and her strident nature (which is how I often feel), they embraced her for it. It became her calling card - well that and her ridiculously enjoyable trill of a voice - and I'm completely enamored with how she was able to laugh at her height, use it, embrace it. Definitely a lesson I've tried to learn but one where I can always use a refresher course.

Certainly it was not Julia's height that made her famous or brought her acclaim. But neither was it something she used as an impediment to those goals and for that I say bravo! Oh and of course...bon appetit!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Making Headlines

As I mentioned in my very first blog post, I wrote a letter to the editors of Boston Magazine regarding an article in their May issue. A quick refresher: they did a survey asking men in Boston what they were looking for in a date. Regarding height, the results were pretty much not in my favor:

Survey says: The ideal Boston woman is about average height (5'4"–5'8"). But fewer than one in six Bostonians found women of 5'8" to 6'—a.k.a. the supermodel median—compellingly attractive.


Not in my favor NOT because our Patriot-lovin, accent-toting male Boston residents aren't looking for a gal like me but rather not in my favor bc my height didn't even rank as part of the survey! So as a funny, hey-its-another-rainy-weekend-
day-in-Boston lark, I wrote a letter to the editors of Boston Magazine declaring their survey to be missing out on a key element of the Boston scene and admonishing the results. They called to confirm when they received it but said it was highly unlikely it would get published bc it would have to wait until the NEXT issue. Fortunately for me it must have been a slow news month because in the issue on stands now, on the bottom of page 12, is a response from the editors to my sweet little note.

Boston Magazine doesn't publish full LTE but rather snippets of them in commentary. For mine, they mentioned how I was appalled that my fellow tall females and I were left out of the survey entirely. Well....here's the kicker. The good folks at Boston Mag actually added an editorial note to the bottom of my paragraph stating:

The survey did include the option "Taller than 6'"; however it garnered far less than towering support with a mere 1 percent of the votes

Well done, Laura. You've forced the magazine to print that 99% of eligible Boston bachelors are not interested in dating someone of your height. Smooth move. A huge boost to the ego if there ever was one. They were trying to save you the pain that comes with knowledge, yet you called them out and forced their hand.

However, I know I speak for all my fellow long-legged friends when I say we take this in stride (a long stride, yes, but still in stride). We know that most guys are driven by ego and it takes a very special kind of gentleman to be with a woman who is taller than they are. And these special gentleman DO exist, I have faith. There may only be 1% of them in Boston (or at least those willing to admit it) and they may be in hiding 99% of the time, but occasionally they do stick their heads out of the ground long enough for us to snag them. And when we do, we won't be letting go any time soon. Hypothetically speaking...of course.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Die Hard With A (Furry) Vengeance

(Yes, yes, I have been a delinquent blogger. Lets just exchange a silent apology, an embarrassed smile and pretend it never happened. Catch up? June was a big event in NYC, a week at home in Jersey with the fam and lots....and lots...of rain. Feel better? Ok, good.)

Email has become a tedious fellow, trapping us for hours at work and bogging us down in our free time as we rummage through offers for free HDTVs from Bernie & Phyl's. However, I received a lovely surprise the other day from my friend E, a fellow tall lass, alerting me to an ongoing Boston Casting Call:

Boston Casting is Seeking tall women (6'1 and above) for extra work on the upcoming Brendan Fraser film "Furry Vengeance." They are looking specifically for tall women that could play construction workers.

A quick check of IMDB reveals the following about the project:

In the Oregon wilderness, a real estate developer's new housing subdivision faces a unique group of protesters, local woodland creatures who don't want their homes disturbed.

Uhhhhh, can we say AMAZING? This inspires so many questions: Would my tall construction worker be on the side of Brendan Fraser or standing up for the right of the woodland creatures? Would I get to fight said woodland creatures (who I can only imagine would be animated, voiced by - if I could only be so lucky - Ben Stein or perhaps John Goodman??)? What would my costumes entail? Why would they be shooting a movie set in the "Oregon wilderness" in Boston? Most importantly, why is it crucial that these construction workers be tall ladies? Are we scarier? Or is it the startling height difference between the tall ladies and the woodland creatures that would give this soon-to-be cinematic classic its core dramatic tension?

My curiosity peeked, I sent the casting agent an email with a few pics. She did respond - to ask for a full body shot, hmmmm ok? - so I still have faith that this could be my big break. I'm not really the "construction worker" type BUT if Brendan Fraser can pretend that this movie isnt the death of his career (well, after this monkey of course) then I am sure I can pull it off.

Stay tuned for news on my (eventual) big break - tall construction ladies of the world, rejoice!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Shotgun


There are many pros and cons to being tall. Con - being called Daddy Long Legs all throughout jr high, having to stand in the back of every photo ever taken, not finding a date to the prom that didn't come up to your shoulders, etc. Pro - Standing out in a crowd (in a great, regal way), always being able to reach the highest shelf, knowing that no one will ever mistake you for a munchkin, etc. The list (both of em!) go on and on but one thing that's always a winner for tall folks is automatic shotgun.

Granted, most of the time you need shotgun so as not to have your knees smushed into your chin. But sometimes shotgun really pays off. Like tonight, when, upon piling back into NF's car after a delish dinner at Ten Tables Cambridge (more to come on that later but for reals, go now!), it was a given that I would get the front seat. This came in particularly handy given that the back seat was occupied by an enormous car seat box and the two ladies who were fortunate enough to ride in it had to determine a way to crush both their bodies and this enormo box into one back seat.

It wasn't neccesarily a long car ride but I'm grateful - as I so often am - to my dad for blessing me with these long ass legs of mine so that, while I got to stretch out in the front seat, poor K got stuck being trampled by a box half the size of her own self! Add one to the pro list! Tomorrow some loser will ask me if I ever played basketball for UConn and the scales might tip in the other direction but, for tonight, I go to bed happy and with uncrampd calves. Thanks Dad!!

Friday, June 5, 2009

A Tale of Two (Tall) Dresses


A few weekends ago, I was invited to the wedding of a good friend from high school and decided to invite one of my besties from college along for the ride. M's one of those great "Plus Ones" who gets along with everyone, always gets you a new drink before you notice the gin has faded out of your current one and knows how to boogie down on the dance floor. He was not, however, sympathetic to the trauma I endured at this wedding. TALL PEOPLE TRAUMA. Despite being a fellow TP (tall person), he thought I was silly. You be the judge.



After getting all gussied up in my prettiest Tall Gal style (heels on, hair blown out, more than one color eye shadow), we headed to the breathtaking Cairnwood Estate for the ceremony and reception. It's a magnificent setting, with an outdoor gardens, fountains and a cathederal (somewhat like Hogwarts without the mail-delivering owls) All is going well until - DUN DUN DUN - a gal half my height walks in wearing the SAME DRESS AS I AM.



I mean, COME ON. It's TALL PEOPLE TRAUMA at its finest. So after a few of those aforementioned gin & tonics, I decided it was time to document this moment for the world. So that everyone can determine that - despite the fact that the dress ends above the knee for me (and is tea length for her), that my waist is where her elbow is and my head basically soars above hers - I still say I pull it off in style. *sigh* But the looks? Let me tell you, the looks were a'plenty. So many confused people seeing her sit down at dinner and then finding me at the bar later, wondering did she put really high heels on during that time? Just another moment in the life of a TP.


It was a beautiful wedding though (congrats Kevin & Kelly) and good times were indeed had by all. TP Trauma, you'll have to try & shake me down another day!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Dinner & A Movie: Movin On UP


So I took my own advice this weekend and went to see the new Pixar flick, UP. Since most of my current readership consists of my good friends, old teachers, fellow bloggers and my mom, I don't have to spin too long an explanation explaining two of my great loves in life: going to the movies and going out to eat. But for the uninitiated, here's a quick nugget:

I went to Boston University to study television and film but that doesn't really justify the need/want/desire to see at least one new movie a week. Think that's just some oddity some of us are born with and spend the rest of our lives trying to earn enough money to justify spending $11/week. Add to that my true passion, FOOD/DINING OUT, and I figured here was as good a place as any to do a recurring series on Dinner & A Movie, Boston style.

Sunday afternoon at Loews Boston Common and my friend B and I opted NOT to go to the 3D version of UP (even that felt a bit much for my 30-yr old self). It was crowded, not at all shocking, but I love a movie on opening weekend because there is just a vibe in the air - it's my justification for putting up with sticky floors and crying babies. Regardless of the audience though, UP delivered, and delivered big. This movie is driven by some of the best drawn out (no pun intended) characters a movie's ever seen, regardless of animated or not. Carl, Russell, Kevin,Doug - a combination of heartfelt moments, wacky storytelling and just good honest heart-warming Disney magic. Go see this movie. You won't regret it, regardless of age or stature.

And if you're looking for a pre or post movie snack fix, check out the Kinsale at City Hall Plaza. Just a few blocks walking distance from the Lowes, it offers free parking (up to 3 hours) on weekdays after 6pm. Try finding that near the theater district! Good grub, trivia on Wed nights and a kick ass turkey burger that will remind you that sometimes a burger can be a non burger and still be damm tasty.

So there you have it - Dinner & A Movie, my first go. Up & Kinsale. Do it up!

Friday, May 29, 2009

The Air Up Here *IS* Better

As all well educated men know, the taller you are the better the air is that you breathe. To try and tip the scales back in the direction of the short folk, I offer two weekend solutions:

1) Go see UP. It opens today and from what I can tell of the trailers, it should remind us all that there is a world of amazing-ness (it's my blog and I'll create words if I want to!) just beyond the extent of our imagination. And since it is about a crotchety old man - I am expecting several "angry fist in the air moments" - who takes off into the great air beyond, perhaps it will offer some suggestions on how to get that "better air" my tall brethren and I are suckin in. Even if it just means that all the short people need to get in a hot air balloon and fly away. Not that that's what I am suggesting...

2) Attend Earthfest 2009. Instead of complaining that all the tall folks are getting the better air, how about we all get together, listen to some 90's rock, score some free Whole Foods goodies and - oh yea - learn about how we can save Mother Earth. We could actually make ALL the air better, not just the air Shaq and I are breathing. I plan on attending but that's only bc I am a sucker for boys in flannel shirts. Obviously, I am all set with the good air.

Happy weekend folks!

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Taxation Without Representation

It is alas only my third blog post and I am (was) a little stumped on what to write. Last night's smashing dinner at Vinoteca de Monica's in the North End certainly deserves a mention as does today's delightfully kitch (kitsch?) lunch at the new Friendly Toast in Kendall Sq. Yes, dammit, I am a foodie and there will be blog posts a'plenty about those topics. In the meantime, go eat and those places and tell em' LHV sent you. I've got some tax issues to work out.

I was just recently made aware (thanks KFritzy!) of a rather delightful piece of academic research. Seems that Greg Mankiw, a professor of economics at Harvard University, wrote this satirical paper entitled The Optimal Taxation of Height: A Case Study of Utilitarian Income Redistribution. which states (tounge in cheek, obvi) that those of a higher stature should be charged higher taxes. And since I am not an economist, I cannot tell you what the political/economic/funny things that only rich smart people understand reasoning would be for making this argument. The part that I find most hysterical is that this paper, when written in 2007, actually gathered support in the government! Two guesses, a sassy pair of eyeglasses and a moose to those who can guess which state is in support: See below for the remarks made from Alaska's Stories In The News.

Rep. Mike Doogan, D-Anchorage, hailed the report as groundbreaking and sent two letters to the governor, one to the House Speaker, a postcard to the president, and a singing telegram to the Bundestag urging them to immediately adopt the tallness tax.

Rep. Doogan continued by saying

"I've said it time and time again," Doogan said. "The big and powerful always prosper at the expense of short people." Doogan reports his height at 5' 11", but medical records list it closer to 5' 8". "It's time tall people start carrying their own weight. I'd also like to see legislation to limit the amount of higher altitude air they breathe. By the time the air gets down to us, most of the good stuff has already been all breathed up."

Can you say amazing?? I dont even really have any comments on this because - really? REALLY? - it's just that crazy. I just think it is hysterical. This is the most random tall factoid I have ever come across and clearly, it's made my evening. Singing telegrams, rich people, a lack of oxygen?! Kudos Alaska.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

What's Wrong With This Picture?

As a tall single gal roaming the streets of Boston, there are many alarming sights. The sketchy guy eying your purse on the Orange Line. The sleazy bartender eying your - whatever - on a Saturday night at Felt. But none strikes fear in the heart of the Tall Gal more than...DUN DUN DUN...the tall guy dating the short girl.

It's unfair from the start. I mean, how many guys over 6ft are there even in this town? And then to see one of our few potential soulmates matched up with a midget, ahem, a lady of petite height....it's enough to start a fire of rage inside you that has no equal. Usually I will be the first to condemn this pairing and point out how akward it must be when he has to bend in half to kiss her goodnight. But occassionaly (the exeption makes the rule, right?), there is a TG/SG pair that makes it ok. For me, that pair is Jen and Jason Newberg.

Jason is an old colleague of mine and stands proudly at 6'5" tall. His charming wife is all of 5'2" - and don't let her fool ya, that's on a good high heeled day. They were married in a custom-made chuppah (to be high enough for him) and the majority of their wedding photos involve at least one member of the newleyweds engaged in something to reduce their height (sitting on a bench, kneeling on the ground, lounging on a grassy knoll). And yet when in their presence...it just doesn't matter. You can't help but feel the love between them and know that sometimes, height knows no limits.

So for you, Jason & Jen, I will put aside my predjudice's towards to TG/SG pairings...but only until I spot the man of MY dreams hanging with a short gal. Then it's anybody's game.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

I'm Taller Than You

When I was in the 8th grade (read: 12 years old), I wore a button. The button contained a simple phrase that answered a common question, asked of me almost every single day. The question: How tall ARE you?? To which the button would reply: I'm 5'11"

In the 18 years since I sported my button, I haven't grown in height all that much and now stand proudly at 6'1" tall. Yet I still get asked that question almost every day and so when my good friend Nikki pestered, er I mean, encouraged me to start my own blog (read hers, its hysterical) I kept thinking about what my vantage point would be. What small but significant view of the world could I have to offer? Well, here it is folks: I'm taller than you. And you wouldn't think that affects life every day but, oh does it. And I'm here to prove it! Sure, there are plenty of other folks out there writing about being tall but since I couldn't find any other city-livin loving, mad about movies, foodie fanatical, cat adoring tall gal blog, I figured my niche was set.

And to kick it off, I wrote a letter to the editor of Boston Magazine last week regarding an article in last month's issue entitled What Turns Us On: A User's Guide To Love and Lust in the Hub. So check out my letter below (bc I'm sure it isnt getting published in the pages of their mag, ha!) and stay tuned for my views from above. Above what? At the very least, the top of most bathroom stall walls (more on that later).

Dear Boston Magazine Editor -

I was prompted to write this letter by the article "What Turns Us On" in your most recent issue and, more specifically, by this startling statistic:

Survey says: The ideal Boston woman is about average height (5'4"–5'8"). But fewer than one in six Bostonians found women of 5'8" to 6'—a.k.a. the supermodel median—compellingly attractive.

No, its not the results of the survey that I take issue with (more on that later) but rather your survey requirements. How is it possible that you've completely neglected a large portion of the Boston metro population: the tall girl? Yes, I'm referring to the bevy of beautiful babies who so contribute to the physical landscape of this great city. The gals who top 6ft tall, a group of which I am a proud participant. As I stand here, in all my 6ft 1in glory, how is it that I don't even rank to be included as an option in the survey? Though I suppose that based on your results we should be pleased, given that the men of this town are less inclined to throw sidelong glances in our direction. Speaking for the glamazonian ladies I represent, we say: we're OK with that. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average height for an adult male in the United States is 5ft 9in. ( National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey (NHANES) conducted from 1999-2002.) Therefore, your average respondent was shorter than me and, as those who've dated us long-legged lasses in the past will attest, we like to be able to wear heels too. Simply speaking, we want a tall man for our very own. As a whole, I've found Boston to be a city somewhat on the shorter side (take a look at our mayor and governor! Aside from the Celtics, our popular landscape is not exactly banging their head on the door frame) and so to that we say, survey be dammed. I know those tall fellers are out there and I have faith that they'll come looking for my friends and I, regardless of your survey results.

Because that old amusement park guideline - You must be this tall to ride this ride - is one we're particularly fond of. So we'll keep wearing our 3in Manolos and smile politely when people ask if we played basketball in college because we know one thing's for sure: tall is terrific.

Cheers from the treetops,
Laura H. Vogel